Regicide
by Sinister Spiders
Summary: The life and times of Severus Snape. An insight into his destructive family life, early childhood relationships and how things went horribly wrong.
1. ONE

**(WARNING: DOMESTIC VIOLENCE)**

**Regicide**

_Sinister Spiders_

* * *

**ONE**

* * *

Through your burning hot tears you can still see the terrible scene before you. No matter how hard you press your hands against your ears and how loud you hum your favourite lullaby, the shouting is still louder.

Her pale face is already bleeding. The look of fear etched into her features matches the terror gripping your heart in its steely fist.

He is still yelling. Furious.

Hadn't he told her not to use magic in his house?

Hadn't he warned her what would happen if he ever saw her wand again?

You finally manage to pull yourself out of the inertia of your despair and cover your eyes. You want to run over and throw yourself in front of her. You want to jump on his back and pull him off her. But you won't do it. You can't. You know better than that. Getting involved only makes it last longer. Only makes him angrier… Only turns his attention to you.

After all- how can you possibly protect your mother if she can't protect herself?

The sound of his clumsy drunken fists making contact with her already tender skin echoes through the kitchen. The muffled sound of flesh meeting flesh is something that always finds its way into your nightmares. You try to make yourself smaller in your corner. You try to disappear into the dilapidated kitchen doors behind you. You wish beyond all possibilities that you cease to exist. Every trace of you needs to be removed from this world that your were thrust into. Born to a man who seldom loves and a woman who was seldom loved- what hope is there for a child such as yourself?

It is at that moment that your magic decides to enter your body. Every vein in your body, every inch of your skin, tingles with an intensity so great you want to cry out in shock. Suddenly it is over as quickly as it began. Your hands disappear from in front of your eyes. Your entire body becomes transparent and nobody notices. He is still yelling. She is still crying. You are still crying in the corner, but now you are invisible, as you were always meant to be.

Now you don't even have the shield of your hands to hide behind.

_Such is the gift of magic._

* * *

**A/N:**This is going to be a series of drabbles which follow Severus Snape as he grows up. It is an experiment on two accounts; I don't normally write drabbles, nor have I ever written anything in second person. Please feel free to leave your feedback and constructive criticism. I will upload new chapters as they occur to me.


	2. TWO

**Regicide**

_Sinister Spiders_

* * *

**TWO**

* * *

Bright red hair. The same colour red as that fire engine model you have always wanted that is in the front window of Zodiac Toys. That is the first thing you notice about her.

The second thing is her smile. So happy. Carefree. You can tell just by looking at her that she doesn't have parents like yours. And she even has a sister! Although from the way her sister is taunting her you think that she isn't as nice as the red-haired girls is.

And then- finally- you notice it.

After the hair and her smile you see her _magic_. The leaf that she picked up from the ground folds itself in half lengthways and floats up into the air like the most delicate of butterflies. The smile on her face, if it was possible, just got bigger and you feel your admiration for this girl grow. But the moment is ruined when her dark-haired sister swats at the butterfly-leaf grumpily and it floats back down to the grass gracefully.

"Tuney!" The red-head pouts- her voice filled with disappointment. You wince as you hear that tone in her voice. A river of molten anger oozes through your veins at _Tuney's_ nasty treatment of her sister. _Bully_.

"Can you imagine what would happen if someone saw you do that?" Tuney hisses, barely loudly enough for you to hear. "You'd be locked away! They'd think you were crazy!"

Your fists clench at this. That girl is a witch! Not a lunatic! This girl is starting to sound a lot like your father.

However, you are amazed when the red-head girl just gives a careless shrug and twirls around and around. She spins so fast that it makes you dizzy just watching. She stops suddenly and gives a whoop of delight as she tumbles to the ground. Slowly she pulls herself into a seated position and her dreamy smile and carefree position take your breath away. Oh- to be that free!

You watch the sisters walk away. They make their way through the park to wherever their home is. You know that you will come back tomorrow. And the next day. And the day after that. Just to get a glimpse of her smile and to watch her work her beautiful carefree magic one more time.


	3. THREE

**Regicide**

_Sinister Spiders_

* * *

**THREE**

* * *

"It's obvious, isn't it?"

Your face colours as you realize that you said it out loud. You hadn't meant to. You wanted to talk to her, but not like this- not whilst hiding in the bushes! You want to kick and curse but now they are looking at you. They are looking at you as though you are from another planet. With a pang of sadness you realize you probably do look that way. Your jeans are too small, your coat is too big, everything looks as though it was pulled out of a garbage bin after being run over by a lorry.

"What's obvious?" She asks, looking at you. Her pretty green eyes narrow and you are suddenly speechless. Tuney looks at you with disdain, her eyes simultaneously drinking in the sight of your shabby clothes while mocking you with their very gaze. You take a deep breath and focus on the Nice One.

"I know what you are."

Not even five minutes later the two girls turn and walk away from you and you plonk onto the leaf litter below with a loud _oompf. _A bullet of pain shoots up your spine at the impact but you don't care. It doesn't hurt as much as the knowledge that you well and truly messed things up!

You had been watching them – not _spying_- watching, for two whole weeks! Two weeks! And you even had the perfect situation planned out. You were going to approach the Nice One- Lily- when Tuney ran off to the bubbler, as she usually does several times during the hour they spend in the park. But you couldn't help it- you couldn't keep your daft mouth shut. Maybe Father was right after all. You are an idiot.

You feel an uncomfortable tightness in your throat and chest and you rub your eyes furiously. You _will not cry_.

But as the memory of the sound of Tuney's cold laughter trickles over you like winter rain you are not so sure you will be able to hold the hot tears back.


	4. FOUR

**Regicide**

_Sinister Spiders_

* * *

**FOUR**

* * *

"Mum!" You yell as you rush through the front door. You skid to a halt to slam the door shut, shoes still wet and slippery from the damp grass at the park, before continuing your headlong bolt into the kitchen. "Mum!"

"Severus?'' She turns to face you, pale face taut with shock as she takes in your flushed yet ecstatic appearance. Her normally bleak eyes quickly gloss over with a sheen of delight and you can't help but grin from ear to ear.

"Mum! I made a friend!" You tell her, and even though it hurts, you know she is as shocked as you are.

"Really? Tell me about him!"

"Her." You correct, her thick black eyebrows disappear into her hairline.

"Her?"

"Yup." Your mother motions to the kitchen table and chairs and you make your way there slowly, now you have stopped running your breath is coming in heavy puffs. After all- you did just run _all_ the way from the park.

"Her name is Lily Evans and she is great!She always goes to the park. I have seen them there for the past few weeks. Her and her sister Tuney. Although I don't like Tuney- she's not very nice. Grumpy, really. And she never likes anything… Sort of like Da." You speak in a rush, the words tumbling out of your mouth in excitement. However you stop when you realize what you just said. You freeze and expect your mother's face to wrinkle with frowns, but she just keeps smiling.

"Really? And what does she look like?" Your mum asks, a high pitch to her voice that makes your smile even bigger.

"She is about the same height as me. Same age too! She has red hair- like a fire engine! No… Like a fire! And she smiles a lot. She is _always_ smiling."

"And why don't you like her sister?" your mother asks, and you realize that she truly did ignore what you said earlier.

"She is nasty. And mean. And she calls Lily a freak!" You feel your face fall and your lips stretch as your face pulls into a sneer.

"A freak?" Your Mother's face crinkled in confusion.

"Yeah… Because Lily is…" You peer around anxiously, you know that Da isn't due home for another few hours, but it never hurts to be careful. "Lily is a witch!"

"A witch?" Your mother whispers, the temperature in the room falls significantly and she is no longer smiling.

"Y-yeah… I saw her doing some magic. She made a leaf flutter like a butterfly and then she jumped from a swing and flew down to the ground as graceful as a swan!"

"A witch?" She repeats. Even that lovely shine that her eyes had has dulled. Your stomach drops.

"Yeah. But her parents are both muggles." You explain slowly, not sure what the problem is.

"Does she know?" Your Mother asks.

"Yeah- I told her. Her sister called her a freak! She's not a freak she's a witch. I reckon she'll be a good one too!" Your Mother's face turns hard and her hand comes up to cover her eyes as she shakes her head.

"Severus, you are never to see her again." Your mouth falls open and your Mum gets to her feet quickly, chair scraping as she does so. The sound makes you shudder but that is nothing compared to the anger welling up in the pit of your stomach.

"Why not Mum?" Your voice is smaller than you meant it to be, barely louder or more confident than a squeaky mouse. Your mother turns her back to you and makes her way to the kitchen sink. She turns the tap on as much as she can and the sound of the water cascading into the tub echoes through the room.

"Severus, we do not associate with magical folk. You know that. You are not allowed to speak to her ever again."

"But Mum-" You begin to protest but she cuts you off.

"No buts Severus! You are never to see Lily again and that is the end of that! Go to your room."

She drops a heavy pile of plates into the sink with a loud crash and begins to scrub them angrily. You turn slowly and make your way to the stairs, feet dragging loudly on the floor as you go. Your eyes are stinging and every ounce of happiness has bled from your body. You had one friend. For one hour. And now you are never allowed to see her ever again.

You shouldn't be so surprised.


	5. FIVE

**Regicide**

_Sinister Spiders_

* * *

**FIVE**

* * *

You told your mother you had a detention

You lied.

Instead you are standing on Lily Evan's front doorstep, waiting in the biting cold snow and howling wind for her to find her house keys in the bottom of her school bag. You have asked her numerous times whether she had charmed it to hold so much stuff but she says no, no charm… In that case you decide it must be a bottomless pit.

With a triumphant cry she pulls a fluffy, rainbow, knitted ball from her bag with three tinkling silver keys tied to it. The smile on her face makes you grin; she looks just as pleased finding her keys as she would if she won a thousand pounds.

The smile on her face is one of the reasons you are still her friend. Three months ago you tried to tell her that you couldn't see her anymore. You decided that, at the very least, you owed her an explanation before you disappeared from her life. Despite all of your apologies and excuses she shrugged and said;  
'So, your Mother doesn't want us to be friends?' You nodded and she shrugged 'Well, in that case what she doesn't know won't hurt her!'. Then she grabbed your arm and pulled you over to the swings, begging you to tell her everything you knew about unicorns.

Ever since that day you have been her friend. You decided that even if you wanted to stop being her friend you couldn't, any attempt you made to end the relationship would fail miserably as Lily would refuse to accept it. When you first realised this your chest swelled with happiness, your heart fluttered in your ribcage like a bird, and you finally felt _wanted_.

Thinking about it now still makes you feel the same way.

_Wanted._

The front door to the Evans' house swings open and you both step inside before Lily slams the door shut behind you.

"Brrrrr." Lily shivers and rubs her hands together while stamping furiously to shake the cold from her bones. You, however, look around.

"It's so… normal!" You saw, awestruck, as you look around. The house looks as though it could be from a Good Home magazine! Everything is neatly in its place. And everything so nice! Not a single item of furniture or bric-a-brack was old or shabby or even dusty. Your head spins at the sheer perfection of the hall way. Your head spins at the sheer fact that they even _have_ a hallway! It sure beats your ramshackle two-up-two-down house.

"Normal?" Lily asked, turning to you with a frown. Your breath catches in your throat and you realize that she might just take this as an insult.

"Normal as in…. Well- it's just that… It's so…" You look around and your forehead creases as you try to find the right words.

"What did you expect? Buckingham Palace?" Lily asks incredulously. You throw your hands up in front of you defensively.

"No- Lily! Not like that!" You manage to stammer, annoyed that a proper explanation eludes you "It's just that everything is so nice…" She looks at you skeptically but before she is able to ask what you mean a tall man with auburn hair almost bounces down the stairs.

"Lily! You're home!" He actually sounded happy to see her. "And this must be Severus!" He turns to you and gives you a charming smile that makes you look past his two crooked front teeth to see the genuine happiness beyond. "Put it there young man!" He thrusts out his hand and grips yours, giving it a vigorous shake. "Lil! Have you forgotten your manners? It's freezing! Go into the parlor and get warm by the fire while I get you both a hot chocolate, eh?"

Ten minutes later you and Lily are huddled together in front of the fire, each nursing a steaming mug of hot chocolate. As you take a sip of yours you feel the warmth slide down your throat, sweet and molten, and your lips settle decidedly into a smile.

"Dad makes good hot chocolate. Better than Mum… But don't tell her that." Lily whispers to you, you laugh and turn to face her. Her green eyes twinkling in the fire light.

"When I said normal," you begin as the right words finally come to you, bolstered by the fire and the tasty drink "I meant perfect."

She rolls her eyes at you and laughs that carefree laugh of hers. You laugh along with her, forgetting all about the fact that your mother thinks you have detention, and the fact that you shouldn't be Lily's friend.


End file.
